"Putting yourself first, is the first big step towards selflessness"
I have lost count of how many times I thought I was happy with myself. I am now 25 years of age and I can’t recall how many times I was under the premise that I was 100% totally satisfied with me.
My traits have often lead me to dark places that were difficult to get out. People who are kind, giving, caring and helpful, get run over by the most unsuspecting people. People who you are convinced are close to you, have the potential to harm you.
It is sad though, because experienced people often pass judgments on the new people they meet or situations they come across; only because they are sure the same has happened before, and has the potential to repeat itself. I ask the question, do we then give a fair chance when we meet new people?
I know what its liked to be used. I know what its liked to give it your all for someone and when interference strikes, that very person has no will to salvage what you shared. You sit back yearning in your heart to see them show an ounce of respect for the relationship you both built, but nothing suffices. What follows is uncomfortable shake hands and awkward stares, along with the once in a while visit to their Facebook profile.
I recognise a user when I see one. When you are blinded though, you don’t see anything. When your eyes finally open however, you chastise yourself down a bottomless pit for being so foolish. I revived myself in a couple of months and I’m almost ready to hold my head up high again :)
What’s odd to me though is that the very same individual who helped me open my eyes to the light of a leach who was clinging on to me….. Called me a leach as well. I was shocked. If I was being used for months, why would I of all people want to do that to someone else. The strangeness of the people around absolutely astounds me.
The argument was because i did not want to share anything personal, it was a great offense to him and that made me a user of his friendship. Apparently I also whine too much and henceforth he refused to hear any of my problems if and when I have them. My mind tried to wrap around the meaning of friendship in addition to the boldness of his statements.
I’m unsure of the friends you guys have, but all of the friends I have had in the past, we used each other as sounding boards and vent out lives out; regardless of how ridiculous or self inflicting our problems were. After sleeping on it. I removed myself, for the reason that I don’t see the point in carrying around a friendship where support is seen as a burden. I don’t see supporting others as such, so why would I want something different from someone else.
After these two incidents occurred, where apparently a user can be anyone, I again re evaluated my goals and aspirations in life. This life is really about me and I have to put myself first. Why must I subject myself to false friendships and people who feel they can assert authority over me. I for one refuse. My life carries on with or without anyone!
Live life for you!