My Short Stories
The Best Man’s Speech
I am very honoured today, to be standing beside one of my greatest friends. Today he stands taller than I am, for he has taken a beautiful girl to be his wife, who he shall love and cherish till the rest of his days.
I was asked by the groom, to be his best man, mainly for this purpose. To speak on behalf of him and to make him look as good as he can ever be. He told me that I am incapable of saying bad things about him. Today I intend to prove him wrong. Not that he is a bad person. He was known as a good person, doing things a good person should not do.
I must openly admit to everyone present today, that the groom that you see before you, is not the groom that I am about to speak of. Today you see him accomplished, well learnt from the mistakes of life, and about to embark on journey that would be his most challenging.
Most know him as an avid sportsman, an enthusiastic academic, a man of the outdoors or simply a nerd. I know him as a friend; a friend who claimed that he would always be there for me, no matter what. It would obviously be of no surprise to you, why I came running to this opportunity without the slightest hesitation. He was for the lack of a better word, a whore. Yes, ladies and gentlemen a man who was promiscuous; a guy who never stepped away from his computer in our high school days, unless he was drawn away by the temptation of supple breasts and pouty lips. I remember a unique day in our history; I had just gotten an outdoor camp vacation at a Bungee Jumping School for our groom that you see before me today. I was happy for him. He was happy for it too. It just so happened that I could not have done the internship with him, because I was flying out to Canada to visit some of my relatives that very week. “Rock”, I would childishly call him, “Make sure and pass for me at the airport when you are driving back home from the camp.” I never saw him that day. He texted me and told me that I would have to get a taxi; he was busy screwing his instructor. Honestly I did not mind, Rock was my best friend. We had such great times at the University, but Rock was always the procrastinator. If he was not up to date on his work, he faked sick for his exams, and did them later down in the semester…… Never mind that, he is still the brilliant Doctor that you see before yourselves today. I did all our group projects…….. Gosh, I never minded when he swore at me for getting below the average. I really use to enjoy those complimentary tickets into the hottest clubs on the strip. I lost my virginity to one of his random “friends”. He told me that he was doing me a favour. I was glad! I came here today, more so to make a confession though. Rock, knew I never loved anyone really in my life. After that experience in the club, it was hard to look at sex as anything meaningful. Even though I said it years ago, I am sure he still does not remember or refuses to remember it. I only told him once, but when I did. The very next day, things made a change for the worst. Rock stole the girl that I had liked so very much. Rock, please do not look so confused, your wife would think you’re a retard. I just told him, that she was pretty, and I asked him if he thought that the girl would have been nice for me. He told me no, and the very next day, he hooked up with her. I have no hard feelings though Rock. This was just our life, I enjoyed it. It was worth the experience. Why are you apologising? Is not like you could fix things now? Gosh I can’t even go after that girl…… I can’t love her anymore Rock….. Why?……. Gosh Rock…. She’s your wife! by Shahad Ali (c) 2011
