The Sentinel

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Petty Failures

No I did not study at 100% for that exam. To be quite honest I was busy enjoying my life. I was happy and contented. To pick up those books and drill tireless into the night sounded extremely depressing, and to be honest I live to be happy. I do not think I am going to fail, but I do not think that I am going to do extremely well either.

I am not going to regret my grade, because to be honest I know I could make it up in other areas. I could die tomorrow, but I trust my feelings more than anything else, and as such I chose to live through this exam, rather than allow the exam to live through me. I am happy, I am contented and I breathe.

My blog is all about “Looking at Life”, and it mostly centers around social actions, interaction and reasonings. I have learnt so much by putting my thoughts down, and reflecting on what matters to me the most. I have learnt so much from others, so much in fact, none of my lectures could ever teach me what I have learnt on this forum.

Its hard to live outside societal expectations, but I honestly think that I am being fair with myself when I am both within and outside of what society expects of me. Its hard to push that boundary. My cousins were very shocked when I told them that I would volunteer my life to a needy cause, if given a basic stipend and basic necessities. I told them it would make my life more meaningful. They are more caught up in the their personal success, where the ultimatum aim is to get rich or die trying.

There is more to life than being rich, and if I happen to fail this exam, it would be my learning experience. A learning experience that I would take forth and remember. Education never determined most of my accomplishments in life thus far. It has always been my ambition and my drive. My parents seemingly fail to realize that. I feel as if I have stored up ambition that is just waiting to be released.

Someone once told me that your degree is for your parents. After that you can do what you want with your life. I think that is probably very true in most cases. It was only after I had understood the construct of tertiary education, I told my parents that if they had allowed me to do major in Theatre Arts, I would have graduated with 1st class honors and sought a scholarship abroad. Now I am stuck with courses that perpetually bring down my grade.

I am not worried about my petty failures, I just want to know the date  of my ultimate release of ambition :D

Always looking at life,

Shahad the Sentinel

Filed under ambition failures mid terms exams life long reads long read lessons Shahad Ali

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